There is
a negative connotation with the relationship status single. Society has developed the thought that if
you’re single it must mean you’re undesirable.
Patients inform me that my biological clock is ticking. Acquaintances tell me the pool of men is
dwindling and good men don’t exist, “better grab one while you’re young.” I’ve even encountered friends who tell me
they feel bad for me because I’m single.
And Lord knows I’ve heard “always a bridesmaid, never a bride,” more
times than I could count. Everyone has
their helpful suggestions too – patients want to introduce me to their sons,
the sons of their friends, and their tennis teammate best friend’s younger
brother's roommate. My singleness appears to bothers
others more than it bothers me.
Who I am – my worth, my confidence, my dreams, and my passions – they are not dependent upon my relationship status. My worth rests in Christ. I AM ENOUGH. I wasn’t put on this earth to find my husband, my purpose is to honor and obey God with all that He entrusts me with. My sole purpose is to bring glory to God; one day that will be with marriage, but for now it is with my singleness.
My favorite blogger, Sara B of Glitter &
Grace, wrote “Praising and enjoying singleness is tricky because you're always
bordering on the edge of sounding like what you really mean is you love being
selfish and only caring about your own needs. But if married people can write
status updates like, "MARRIAGE IS SO AWESOME!!" then I should be
allowed to claim that "BEING SINGLE IS PRETTY FRICKIN' AWESOME TOO!"
Do I always feel that way? Of course not. Am I super excited to be married
someday? Absolutely. I am in no way claiming that one stage of life is better
than another. I just want to be intentional to love where I'm at, be grateful
for every chapter, and not spend my days wishing for ones that lay ahead.” AMEN,
SISSY!
I’ve been
invited to over 50 weddings and have been asked to be a bridesmaid 12 times,
y’all – I have witnessed God’s faithfulness and provision countless times and
that is why I don’t doubt that he is writing my love story. Marriage is the horizontal representation of
a vertical relationship. The most unique
and intimate of all relationships, marriage is to be sacred, founded on
forgiveness, grace, and unconditional love.
Marriage vows aren’t a commitment, but rather a covenant – not to be
broken. With something I hold most
sacred, I don’t see the need to rush or force.
The Lord
is unlimited in creativity, resources, power, and love. Don’t think for a minute there isn’t a door
that man closes that God can’t open and there isn’t a door that man opens that
God can’t close. I want my love story to
sing God’s praises; a relationship that develops in such a way that can’t be
explained by man and points directly to God.
I don’t want a love story the world can write. I want a love story authored by the divine
creator…and for that I’m willing to wait.
I may not
understand God’s timing, but I can’t deny his faithfulness or provision for he
has never failed me. With a God who
loves us intimately and knows us completely, we must have faith that He knows
how to awaken our hearts and capture our attention. When my heart needs encouragement to conquer
my doubts He puts His creativity and provision upon display through those
around me. I’ve had the honor of witnessing
many love stories, I hope the ones that follow fill your hearts with hope as
they did mine.
Courtney
"For
the longest time, I didn't know what I really meant to the Lord. I didn't quite
understand that I was treasured, that I was valued. That I had a purpose.
Because of that, I spent years finding my worth in other things.
In
college I entered into an unhealthy long distance relationship. For 2 years, I
thought this is what "happy" looked like. I had fooled myself
entirely. My senior year, I applied to graduate school in Alabama, the state
where my boyfriend at the time lived... believing this would lead to a picture
perfect ending. When I found out I got into the program I had applied to, I was
overjoyed.
A few
days before I graduated from college I was forced to end that relationship.
Honestly, in my flesh I didn't want to... But he had betrayed my trust
completely, and I knew it was impossible to get back. A few days after
graduation, much against the will of my family and close friends, I packed up
my car and still moved from San Diego to Alabama to attend graduate school. I
knew that even though this was going to be the hardest season I had ever walked
through, the Lord still wanted me in Alabama.
I had
never experienced such brokenness in my life. Ever. I was thousands of miles
away from my family... walking through trial and suffering. But looking back on
it now, I wouldn't trade that time for anything. It was raw and real.. I was on
my face crying daily, and the Lord started to really show me who I am. He
showed me the woman He had always created me to be.
It
was during that season I developed a close friendship with my now husband,
Paul. He actually was a mentor of my ex-boyfriend... which leads me to believe
that God has a sense of humor. Paul knew the details of what had happened
during that break up, and was very quick to make sure that I was taken care of
when I moved to Alabama. That I had everything I needed.
The
first year and a half I was in graduate school, Paul and I grew closer. He
showed me what a man of God looked like. He showed me what loyalty and trust
looked like. I had never met a man so kind and genuine and compassionate. He
emulates Christ in ways I've never seen before.
It
was January before my last semester of graduate school when my heart softened
towards Paul in a romantic way and he told me how he wanted to pursue a relationship
with me. He lived in Birmingham at the time, 2 hours a way from where I was in
school. We began long distance during those last few months of graduate school,
I moved to Birmingham after graduation, we got engaged 6 months later, and
married 3 months after that.
Now,
3 years later, I could not imagine my life with anyone else. He was so worth
every minute of the hell I had to walk through to get to him. He is my best
friend and my favorite person. Paul and I have been working together the entire
time we have been married and we see on a regular basis the Lord's favor and
His faithfulness. Our marriage is built on a foundation of trust, love,
respect, and honesty. Paul never has to guess what I'm thinking... I just tell
him. None of the joy I am experiencing today has happened apart from Christ.
None of it.
Sometimes
we wonder why tough things happen, but God always has a plan. HE never forgets
about us. And He is never late. Ever. His timing is not our timing. Six years
ago when I walked through a terrible break-up and the hardest season of my
life, I never thought I could be standing with the boldness and confidence I
have today. But The Lord did... HE knew exactly where we was taking me. He is
asking His children to trust Him constantly. And this joy I have now never
would have taken place if I hadn't taken a leap of faith, got in the car, and
drove myself across the country to move to the one state that would cause me so
much pain. This state, Alabama, is now my favorite place in the world. Our
community here is amazing... they encourage us to work hard, try our best, and
be Jesus to everyone we come into contact with.
My
point is, you never know how the Lord is working... but HE -is- always working.
He is always moving behind the scenes in ways we don't realize. Paul is the
greatest prize I've ever been given for walking through so much turmoil, and
there are no words to accurately describe how truly grateful I am."
Nicole
“A
friend of mine persuaded me to exchange my salsa heels for cowgirl boots. I was skeptical at first, line dancing and
two-stepping was unfamiliar territory, but I was willing to learn. My sasla and hip-hop rhythm somehow meshed
well with the line dance routines and it It only took a couple of songs for me
to realize I awoken a new passion. Country
dancing at In Cahoots became a part of my Wednesday routine. I became familiar
with the dances, the atmosphere and the people. However, there was one cowboy,
I nicknamed him “Tim McGraw,” that caught my eye and shook my heart.
I was
smitten from the first time that I saw him.
I’d become giddy every Wednesday just at the thought of seeing him glide
around the dance floor.
I had
become a regular at In Choots and this Wednesday night “Tim McGraw” stood
nearby. Another cowboy proceeded to hit
on me with the cheesiest of pick-up lines, but a friend of “Tim McGraw” interrupted to ask me why I was
always smiling. I responded with a simple, "Jesus." He then turned to
“Tim McGraw” and said, "Look at her Holy Spirit smile." “Tim McGraw”
responded with, "I just got back from youth group." I think a big
smile took place in both our hearts at that moment, just knowing that the most
important part of our lives was in sync with one another. He introduced himself
with a simple, “Hi, my name is Ryan." No ridiculous pickup line, just a
confident handshake and his name, a name that would soon be mine! After our brief exchange, he asked me to
dance. You could say he immediately swept
me off my feet.
I
never dreamed I could have a love like this. I share our love story to provide hope, may it inspire and encourage others to pray (a lot!) for their future spouse, because I can truly say - God will
honor those prayers! To those who are married, I urge you to continue to pray
for one another and with each other. I've learned being married is about serving one
another, putting each other first, and through this sacrificial relationship you will experience Jesus more fully. I encourage others to never settle, but to hold out for God's
blessings. As nice as it is to be with someone or have a constant companion, you must trust that God's timing is truly perfect. Allow him to prepare you and when you are seasoned and ready for
His fruitfulness will you experience His faithfulness in full. I've learned it tastes a whole lot SWEETER when the timing is ripe
and ready!"
Emily
The summer between my junior and senior year the Lord opened
the doors for me to go to France and work with the children's ministry. May of
2006 I flew to France and moved into a tiny, lavender-colored studio out in the
middle of the vineyard covered countryside. When I walked into my little studio
I saw a french-press, a tea pot and a bus map that had been set out for me. As
I began to live my life in Aix that summer, I met many new and amazing friends
who all started making comments about how this guy "Sean" and I
should have met... saying that we were "the same person and that we wanted
to do the same things in life". I was once out to coffee with a
friend who stopped me mid-sentence and said, "what you just said to me,
this guy Sean just said to me last week!". Sean had left an incredible
impression on the people in Aix. Fast forward 6 months and I was back in San
Diego finishing my senior year of college when I received an email from an
unknown name "Sean Naus" - it was entitled "Out of
Nowhere!". I couldn't believe THAT guy who I'd heard about all summer was
writing me! :) We wrote very long emails for about a month and then started
talking on the phone from SD to OZ. We talked for hours all about who we were,
how we knew and loved God and what we felt God was calling us to do with our
lives... I fell in love with him... without ever seeing him face to face.
After 6 months of hearing about each other and 6 months of a long
distance relationship... we FINALLY met! On March 2, 2007 I met Sean at the
international airport in Honolulu where my friend Linsi dropped me off and yelled
out the window "These are the moments we live for!!” When Sean finally
walked out of the terminal with his suitcase and guitar, he walked up to me,
shaking, and gave me a hug, saying, "you're real." We held hands, but
could barely stand to look at each other. It was the most bizarre feeling - my
heart said, "you know this person and you love this person," but I
had never seen him before. It took the next 5 days with my friends in Hawaii to
let the happy reality of it all sink in. We were finally together and all the
we had loved and hoped for in each other was better than we had ever imagined.
And so, my God is the God who loves to do more than I could ever ask or imagine
- His ways are SO good!
Courtney
"Growing up I believed in praying for my husband
and I believed if I waited for the right one God would deliver. After going
through college with no true prospects and watching all my other friends who
didn't pray much for a guy or really wait on The Lord start marrying off I felt
defeated. Why should they get what I so patiently was waiting for? Well we
always have the clearest vision in retrospect. I needed the years of singleness
to develop personally in my faith and as an individual one day looking to be a helpmate
to another. And, most my friends who married off quick, I truly don't think
they reaped the benefit of fruit from a long toil. You value what you wait patiently for and seek earnestly. The story
Josh and I have is truly unexplainable apart from the hand of God. It is way
too random to just coincidently happen and then work out! I don't have much in
the way of finances but somehow God provided sufficient funds for me to move
here! It's crazy! All of those years of praying, I see the fruit of them in the
smallest ways. The world does and sees
things differently! But if we patiently wait on The Lord, and seek His will, we
will find He knocks it outta the park with love stories. You are not forgotten.
If anything, because of your faithfulness, God has his full attention on you,
and says wait daughter, wait and watch what I will do. For I WILL do it!"
Love,
Quinn
